No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
