Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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