Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
