I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
