I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
