If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
