I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
