Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
