The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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