so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize