Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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