You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
