Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
