i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we're so committed to being not committed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
