Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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