So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's the barista slut.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My feet surprised me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
