I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
