whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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