Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How's work?
Spinning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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