There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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