dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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