she was so not down for the gang bang
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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