I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize