My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
