i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
