She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize