just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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