Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FUCK WHALES
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
