So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
