How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
