Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
God I need to hump something, right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
