Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize