i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
