Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
