I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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