so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize