Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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