Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
