We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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