really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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