i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
