hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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