my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
