Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize