i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
