Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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