Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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