Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize