You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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