I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
