I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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