I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
