I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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