This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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