is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
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