I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
