forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
3 2 1 whiskey
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
