I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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