So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
