all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
