this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
