we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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