I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
