I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
