We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
