Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize