I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
