we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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