She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
