Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize