he wants to bone in the snuggie
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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