I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
