I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize