So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
