I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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