is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
