Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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