goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize